


If Only...

by 1_ArrowsAngel_3



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:41:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28042578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1_ArrowsAngel_3/pseuds/1_ArrowsAngel_3
Summary: Felicity was at the perfect point in her life.  She had a great job, great friends and was developing feelings for someone until someone else had other ideas about what she should have in her life.
Relationships: Laurel Lance/Felicity Smoak, Laurel Lance/Oliver Queen, Oliver Queen & Thea Queen, Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak
Comments: 10
Kudos: 56





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> IF YOU ARE NOT A STEPHEN/EMILY FAN DO NOT READ THIS. I DON'T WANT TO GET ALL THE BASHING FROM THE HATERS.
> 
> This is my first attempt at writing so please be gentle.

Felicity had been sitting on her windowsill which she had turned into her seating area complete with pillows. Looking out the window which overlooked the lake behind her family cabin she could not help but reminisce about her past. She would not change a single thing that has happened to her, in life, but she did wish that some circumstances were just a little different. She has been hiding out from the world lately, not being able to face her fans and all their questions, about her career, personal life and her relationships with her former co-stars, one that she constantly got bombarded with questions about. While sitting there and daydreaming, she pulled on one piece of her hair twisting it around her finger. She did not want her family to worry about her, so she told her mom she was going to the cabin for a bit and her parents were none the wiser. Sipping on her coffee as she watched the snow fall ever so beautifully, she sighed. She was going stir crazy, having not worked since before this dreadful pandemic hit. She was very restless. It being Christmas time and all. She knew that most of her friends would be headed to the Caribbean, but she didn't feel like hanging out with anyone much less risk getting sick again.

She had gotten sick after traveling to see her agent in the United States. Another reason she didn't want to travel to the Caribbean, where her friends were going to be, is that she vowed to stay away from a certain person, who has become so much more than just a friend over the years. She laid her had back against the window, closed her eyes and remembered the most recent events like it happened yesterday and not over a year ago.

Felicity was sitting in her trailer, watching videos from a few friends when she heard a knock at the door. She grabbed some chips as she walked slowly towards the door. She opened the door and immediately rolled her eyes, sighed loudly and looked at the girl standing on the other side. "So, when were you planning on leaving the show and staying away from my family?" The brunette with blonde streaks in her hair, stood in the doorway of her trailer with her arms crossed and glaring at her. She noticed that the girl was wearing clothes very similar to some that she owns. When she heard her voice, Felicity closed her eyes and sighed. "Laurel, I'm not quite sure what you are implying but I wasn't planning on leaving until the show ends for good. I have a good thing here and I love my job. So, if you would kindly leave my trailer, I would greatly appreciate that." Felicity stood up and started toward the back of the trailer to get changed for her next scene which just so happened to be with the man in question. "But hey, maybe you could, oh I don't know, get your own style and fashion for clothes?" She said as she began to close her eyes. "Look Felicity, I know you're sleeping with my husband and I'm telling you now, it's going to stop or so help me God, Oliver will never see Ryeleigh ever again and I know once he finds out that it's all because of you then you'll lose him too." Felicity stopped dead in her tracks and turned around, screaming at the top of her lungs "GET. THE. FUCK. OUT. OF. MY. TRAILER. OR SO HELP ME GOD I AM GOING TO BEAT YOUR ASS. I AM SO SICK OF YOUR NARISSISTIC, PSYCHOTIC ASS. YOU USE OLIVER AND RYELEIGH LIKE THEY ARE ACCESSORIES, WHICH THEY ARE NOT! THEY ARE SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER APPRECIATE." She grabbed her clothes for her scene and walked to the door, Laurel stood in the doorway trying to prevent her from leaving. "MOVE!" Laurel crossed her arms and stood firm. Felicity nodded and bit on her lip, walked to the girl and shoved her out of her way and knocking her to the ground. "I asked you to move and now I'm done asking AND being nice."

Felicity walked off fuming and mumbling to herself, she headed towards the venue where they were filming that day. Still fuming mad she kept her head down so she didn't have to talk to anyone as she made her way into the room to change, in peace, since her trailer obviously was being invaded today. She got closer to the door of the restroom when she heard a familiar voice calling her name. The voice is low and gravelly, she pretended not to hear him. With her head down and picking up her speed, she prayed she could beat him to the door in question. The muscular blonde haired, blue eyed guy was not going to accept that as he ran after her quickly. Once he caught up to her, he grabbed her arm lightly to get her to turn around "Fell-ic-it-teeeee?" Oliver took one look at her and knew something was wrong. "Talk to me" he pleaded as his blue eyes bore into her. She couldn't look at him, so she opted to look at the ground and shook her head. "It's nothing, I have to go change for the next scene and I'm running late." She shrugged and tried to get her arm away from his light grip. He stopped her and looked into her eyes, "What are you not telling me?" She sighed and pulled her arm away from him. "Go ask your adoring wife, why she had to come to my trailer while I was relaxing." With that she turned and walked into the restroom and threw her clothes on the counter, grabbed the edge of the sink and dropped her head trying to get into the right frame of mind to do her next scene which was to be a very pivotal scene for her character. While she was trying to calm down Moira, who played Oliver's on-screen mother was walking down the hall and saw Oliver. "Hey, Oliver!," she smiled but noticed he had a very worried look on his face. "Hey, is everything ok? You look a little off right now." He leaned against the wall trying to figure out what was going on right now, he looked up and shook his head "I don't know! I really wish I did. Laurel told me she was going out of town today, but Felicity just said that she was just at her trailer and now Felicity is in the restroom and I have no idea if she is ok or not but she seemed to be really upset" he stood there and chewed on his lip with worry written all over his face. Moira patted his arm "I'll go check on Felicity, just relax. I'm sure she's fine" with that she walked toward the restroom to find Felicity. Felicity was held onto the side of the sink and tried to hold all her emotions in, meanwhile, her feelings had plans of their own. When she finally gave into her emotions, she slid down the wall and pulled her knees into her chest, hid her eyes against them. She wondered why she had even considered not leaving, then she remembered there were three incredibly good reasons why, her show, the man she fell hopelessly in love with (even if he didn't know because she hadn't told him) and his precious baby girl who she has become attached to, again he doesn't know because she hadn't told him. Could she just up and leave what had been her home for her entire life? Why was it even a question in her mind? Then she remembered the reason was because of HER! She desperately tried not to hate anyone, but this woman gave her no other option. She knew she could not tell Oliver why she decided to leave, but she also could not stand back and let her take his baby girl from him. That baby was his life and had he found out she was the reason he did not get to see her he would hate her too. She knew that his wife could take the baby and leave the country and he could do nothing about it because of several things, his citizenship status being the biggest, then his job. He worked a lot to keep his show ratings in the higher bracket, while the baby's mother never worked so she could be with her more. Felicity laughed at that, she knew as well as anyone that knew her that she was NEVER with that baby, especially alone. She quickly made her way to her and wrapped her in her arms "Hey, what's wrong?" Felicity immediately wrapped her arms around Moira and gripped her shirt tightly sobbing quietly "I have to leave the show and I am going to miss everyone so much when I do." Not knowing the whole story this comment took Moira by surprise, she pulled Felicity back a little and looked at her "What do you mean you have to leave the show?" Felicity just shrugged her shoulders and shook her head not wanting to talk about it. She took a deep breath, sighed and grabbed a paper towel from the dispenser wiping her eyes. "I have to get dressed for my scene. I would rather not talk about it." As Felicity turned the water on to splash her face, she heard Moira speak softly. I don't know why you think you have to leave the show, but I am here to tell you that your co-stars are not going to let you go quietly." Felicity turned around quickly to protest but Moira was out the door before she could say anything. Moira walked down the hall to Oliver and sighed softly, "our girl is terribly upset. She clung to me and cried her eyes out saying something about having to leave the show." Oliver pushed off the wall he had been leaning on and headed straight for the restroom. He flung the door open and bound straight for Felicity wrapping his arms around her and holding her tight, he whispered in her ear "I am not losing you for anything." This caused her to lose all control and she broke down crying uncontrollably. Turning her around he held her as close to his body as he possibly could, rubbing his hands the length of her back "shh, baby it's going to be ok, I'm here. Please talk to me." When he turned her, she hugged him as tight as she could, fisting his shirt in her hands. She buried her face in his neck not wanting to move from that spot. She knew if she looked up into his gorgeous blue eyes of his she would tell him everything he wanted to know. As Oliver held onto her as tight as he possibly could, he pulled his phone from his back pocket and sent Laurel a text. 

**O: You and I are going to have a talk when you come home from your "trip!"**

He put his phone back in his pocket he pulled Felicity from his body, she moved back a little but kept her head down to the ground. "Oliver, you are in the girls; bathroom;" trying not to smirk. She wiped her tears again and turned to get her clothes. As she was walking to one of the stalls to change, she looked over her shoulder at him "I'm sure that Moira already told you, but if she didn't, I have to leave the show." Looking down at her feet I'll be moving as well. I have to make a fresh start."


	2. Chapter 2

Oliver froze where he was, he was not sure that he heard her correctly, so he turned and looked at her, “What do you mean you are moving?” He walked over to her once again and looked her directly in the eye “Felicity, what is going on and DO NOT say nothing.” His finger twitching at his side as he stood there and waited for her to respond. The only thought that kept running through his head was that Laurel was somehow involved in her sudden need to leave the show and move. The longer he looked at her and she did not respond he knew that his line of thinking was spot on. “It’s because of Laurel isn’t it?” Not answering he could tell he was right as soon as he saw her eyes fill up with tears. He moved closer to her, sliding his hands softly around her waist and pulled her close to him. “Please don’t leave yet Lis. Please. Let me work this out.” She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and hid her face against his neck. She loved the smell of him and would forever miss how close they have become. They were standing there just holding each other for what felt like an eternity, that is, until his phone vibrated letting him know he had a message.

**L: What is that message all about? You know I’m out of town I told you I was going yesterday while we had Ryeleigh at Sage’s party.**

Oliver sighed and put his phone back in his pocket. “Lis just promise me that you won’t leave until I have a chance to work all this out. I do not want to lose the one woman who means the world to me.” Felicity promised him that she would never lie to him, so she did not answer him. She took a small breath and he leaned forward softly pressing his lips to her forehead, before she turned and quickly retreated behind the stall door. Oliver closed his eyes to try and get ahold of his emotions. “Lis, I am coming by your place as soon as I work this out.” He left the restroom and leaned against the wall to center himself. He mumbled to himself “I will not lose you. I can’t.” After a few minutes of trying to figure things out in his head, Oliver pushed off the wall and walked straight to his car to go and find the root of all this turmoil. Felicity could not control her thoughts, but there was one thought that kept running through her head and it was Laurel’s voice saying repeatedly “He will never see his baby girl again.” She could not live with herself if she were the reason, he lost his baby girl. She whispered, “I’m sorry Oliver.” She picked up the clothes she had been holding and made her way out of the bathroom. She went to try and find the EP for this episode, letting him know that she was in no condition to film today. She told him she had to go and rest, hoping that it would make her feel better for shooting the rest of the week. She found Jim and as she walked toward him she began to shake. She could feel an anxiety attack coming so she stopped just behind him, leaned against the walk and took long slow breaths, closed her eyes and tried to imagine the ocean. The ocean was always the one place that she could lose herself in her thoughts so that became her “happy place.” Jim heard her doing her breathing and came rushing to her side. “Felicity? What’s wrong hun? What can I do to help you through this?” Jim was lightly rubbing her back, he considered her one of his daughters and always tried to keep an extra eye on her. When she didn’t respond he decided that she needed to go home and rest. He personally drove her home, since she rode her bike to the set today. He told her to get rest and he would clear her scenes for the rest of the week.

Oliver activated the ‘where’s my phone’ app on his phone and located Laurel’s location, which as it turns out was not out of town but rather at a 5-star hotel on the opposite end of the city. He wasn’t sure what his wife was up to but he knew he was damn sure going to find out. The closer he got to the hotel the more aggravated he became. She had been acting strange ever since they came back from their Hawaiian vacation. The very vacation where she announced that she wanted to take more time to develop her career outside the home. The very vacation where she was completely withdrawn from the family outings and hardly paid any attention to Ryeleigh. He walked into hotel and was asking for her room number when he heard her laugh coming from just inside the hotels bar. Oliver stood around the corner to see what she was doing without her seeing that he was there. Just as he looked around the corner he noticed that she was sitting with a man, the same man who he remembered seeing in Hawaii and also the same man who now had his hand on his wife’s thigh. He clinched his jaw and the veins in his neck were starting to bulge. He rounded the corner talking in a very loud voice “So this is why you were withdrawn on vacation, and ignored your own daughter? Not to mention your “out of town” trip. Laurel you are ridiculous. Instead of wanting to be a family and actually wanting to care for your own daughter you would rather be out cheating with some guy. You know, this right here is why I don’t open up to you anymore, and why it’s so much easier to talk to Felicity. She listens to me for hours on end complaining about how I wish my marriage was better and I could give Ryeleigh everything she wants. If this is what you want then fine we can make that happen, but know that I will be making it known that you broke your part of the prenup.” Laurel got embarrassed and angry all at the same time. She stood up and grabbed his arm trying to pull him out of the bar to talk in private. “You are being ridiculous and you of all people have no right to lecture me about cheating. You don’t think I have noticed the little looks that you and HER give each other. She is like a dog in heat around you. You two are constantly in each other’s view no matter where you are. Hell she even had to go to Coachella with our friends just to be near you. Oliver she is too young for you for crying out loud. What does she have that is so damn special?” He pulled his arm from her grip and stopped in place. “You want to know what she has that makes her so special and appealing to anyone she meets? She's real, she's kind, she's sweet and caring and she listens to people. She’s not fake, snobby and condescending. She appreciates everything around her and you know what else? Rye loves her. Christ, Laurel, Rye isn’t even her child and yet Felicity takes the time to help her with her schooling and her singing. Which, by the way, my kiddo is very good at singing and everything she does. I wasn’t sure if you were aware of that since you always either seem to have your phone to your face or a drink in your hand.” That made Laurel see red. “She is not to be around my daughter any more. Ryeleigh is MY daughter.” Oliver corrected her “NO, Laurel, she is OUR daughter. It’s just too bad that our 5 year old came to me and asked me why her mom would rather be anywhere but with her.” At that last comment, Laurel’s eyes filled with tears, but the tears did not affect Oliver. He continued “when I take that little girl to the set with me, do you know the first thing she asks me and Sam (the nanny)? She asks us if we can take her to find Felicity. She says that she wants to talk to her about her day at school and hear Felicity’s advice, plus she really loves Felicity’s dog Cage.” Laurel crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. “Oliver I am telling you right now, I do not want that girl around my daughter. She is a child herself. My God, she’s 10 years younger than you and yet you continue to put her on a thrown. Why can’t you look at me the way you do her?” “You want to know why Laurel? You only think about yourself. When was the last time you asked Ryeleigh where she wanted to go on vacation? Or the last time you read her a book? Do you even know what Rye likes to do instead of what you make her do? When it comes to her you want her to be a miniature you and she’s not. She has the sweetest disposition and personality. But not only with Rye, when it comes to my fans, Laurel you are horrible to them and whether you like it or not, without them and their support you would NOT be living the life you do right now. I would be a nobody. I am sick to death of all the backlash from the way you are. And now,” he points into the bar “I see you here allowing some man to put his hands all over you? REALLY?” “Oliver, I am here meeting him because we are discussing a part in a new show and I am hoping he offers it to me.” “Damn it Laurel, I thought I knew you better than this, but I guess what everyone said was true. You really only ever think of yourself. So, you sleeping your way to the top now? I should have seen this coming, some people really are shallow. Felicity and I haven’t done anything physical YET, we were each other’s shoulder to lean on, but after this display who knows because I. AM. DONE.” He turned to leave “And just so you know, do not try and pick up Rye, I already had Sam head to my mother’s house with her.” Laurel followed him “Oliver, you can’t take her out of the country without my permission” “Correction again Laurel, I am her father, I can take her anywhere I damn well please. We are going on vacation to a location of Rye’s choosing, after that SHE can decide if she wants to come see you or not. I will not force her to do anything she doesn’t want to do. And don’t worry my attorney will be the one asking her what she wants to do that way you can’t tell a judge that I persuaded her to do anything.” With that final comment Oliver left the hotel, drove his car headed straight for Felicity’s house.

As soon as Jim dropped her off and was out of sight, Felicity went to her bedroom, got her suitcase from her closet and laid it on her bed. She could hardly see threw the tears that she was fighting back. She didn’t want to leave but she was not going to be the reason her co-star lost his precious little girl. She always tried to see the good in everyone but with Laurel she was over that point. She knew that no matter what she said or did, unless she left Laurel would continue to be spiteful and hold that little girl over his head. She quickly grabbed clothes from her closet and tossed them into her suitcase. Making sure she had a few sets to last her for quite some time, she closed the suitcase and took a deep breath. Taking one last look around, she grabbed her jacket, cell and purse and walked out the door, Cage keeping up with her. She got into her car, sighed softly and drove off headed toward her parents’ cabin. As she was driving, she turned her cellphone off, not wanting to be bothered or found.

As he drove down Hollywood Blvd, Oliver pulled out his phone and hit #1 on his speed dial, whispering softly to himself “Come on, come on Felicity pick up” being sent straight to voicemail. “DAMN IT,” he hit redial and again was sent straight to voicemail. He arrived at her house and noticed her car was gone and the place was dark. “DAMN IT!” he pounded on his steering wheel, laying his head against it trying to think. “The set, that’s where I saw her last, she has to be there.” He sped off down the street. Praying that she was still there. “Damn it Lis where are you?” He dialed Joe, his on-screen partner. “Joe, have you seen Lis? I can’t find her and she was very upset when I last talked to her.” When Joe told him he hadn’t seen her, Oliver bit on his lip. Joe agreed to help him look for her, they had to find her. “Joe, can you find Jim and see if he has seen her, she was to be filming he might know where she is.” He put his phone down and shook his head as he continued driving, talking to himself “come on Lis, where the hell did you disappear to?” While he was waiting to hear back from Joe he remembered that he forgot to call his mother. He dialed her number and waited for her to pick up. As his mind ran away with his thoughts he heard his mother’s voice. “Hello?” “Hey mom, how are you?” Sharon chuckled, she knew he wasn’t calling to just ask her how she was doing, “I am fine Oliver, so what brings this call about?” He exhaled rather loudly but smiled because he knew his mother would see right through him. “Oliver? Is everything ok? Where’s Rye? Is she ok?” “Yes mom, everything is ok, well not really but it will be. I’m actually calling you to let you know that Rye and Sam are on their way to see you. Do not let Laurel take Rye anywhere, please.” Sharon perked up when he told her that her granddaughter and nanny were on their way to her house. “Oliver what’s going on? Rye only comes to my place usually when you and Laurel bring her.” “Mom, I’m done. I found Laurel letting some guy have his hands all over her. Plus, I think that she threatened Felicity into quitting the show.” His mother sat at the table, took a sip of her coffee and looked out the window sighing softly, “Oh Oliver, are you ok hun? Is there anything you need from me? I can hear panic in your voice sweetheart.” “I don’t know mom; I can’t find Felicity and I really need to talk to her. I don’t want her quitting the show, she’s too good at what she does to throw it all away because my cheating wife is jealous that I confide in someone other than her. I mean what did Laurel think, that she could just threaten anyone that she’s jealous of and I wouldn’t find out? Mom, I need to know what your feelings are on this. I mean I am so frustrated right now I can’t think straight” his voice started to crack as he continued to talk. “Oliver, you just calm yourself down sweetheart. If you get all worked up you are not going to be able to concentrate on what you need to do. Now you know that I will take care of that baby girl and Sam as well. You need to take care of yourself. I think it’s better that she is up here with us while you and Laurel figure things out.” “Mom there is no figuring anything out, I’m done. She threatened a friend and ignores Rye. I can’t do it any longer. Rye is my world.” “I know son. Are you at home?” “No, I am trying to find Felicity to talk to her, but I don’t think she wants to be found and no matter where I look for her, she’s not there.” His mom could hear the frustration. “Have you tried calling Denise? Think about it Oliver, I was the first person you called to talk to, so what makes you think she didn’t call her mom? If you don’t feel comfortable calling, I can call for you. Denise and I have been talking a lot recently.” Tapping his thumb lightly on the steering wheel while he thought, he nodded a little, “I’ll call, thank you mom.” “You’re welcome sweetheart. Let me know how you make out with the search.” “Well, mom if all goes well, maybe I can talk her into coming with me for a visit. If that’s ok with you.” “You know I don’t mind you bringing friends over Oliver. But are you sure you should be spending time with someone when you’re hurting from your marriage? And someone so much younger than you are.” Oliver thought about what his mother had said and he thought that maybe his mother didn’t care for Felicity so he had to ask her, because if she didn’t care for her he needed to know why. His mother has always been his number one supporter, she was always there with an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on when he needed it. He valued her opinion on just about everything in his life. Marrying Laurel without his mother present was his biggest regret, well up until now it was. Now his biggest regret was getting married in the first place. “Mom, Felicity has been there for me anytime I needed her and I care about her. Plus, she listens to Rye and I think with everything going on that Rye might need to talk to her. There are just some things she has told Lis in the past that she never told me or Laurel. But if you don’t want me to bring her to your house I can get us a hotel room, I just thought..” Before he could finish his thought his mom spoke “Oliver, you will do no such thing, you can bring her here, and you know I like Felicity. Her parents and us we all go out for dinner or just relax at either of our homes and enjoy some wine. They are family to us. I just don’t want her getting hurt in all this mess and I certainly don’t want you or Ryeleigh hurt any more than you already are.” She paused for a few moments then spoke softly, “let me call Denise and see if she’s heard from Felicity and I’ll call you back, ok?” “ok” His mind was all over the place as he drove to all the places that she might be while waiting for his mother to call him back. “Come on Lis, I have to find you. I have to make sure you are ok.” He could feel his eyes starting to burn as he held back the tears that threatened to fall.


End file.
